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This is a request from a parent in the Surat room. It was difficult to write because there are many, may, many things that children fight about. I hope this dialogue is useful.
Child 1: It’s my toy!
Child 2: No, it’s mine!
Mommy: What is going on here?
Child 1: I want to play with it!
Child 2: No, I want to play with it!
Mommy: Please stop. Calm down, both of you. Fighting over the toy will not help you.
Child 1: But it’s mine!
Child 2: No, it’s mine!
Mommy: Let’s sit down here and talk. Sit down, please. Sit down. Thank you.
Child 1: He’s trying to take my toy.
Child 2: No, I am not. It’s my toy.
Mommy: Please show me the toy. Give it to me, please.
Child 1: No, you will give it to him.
Child 2: That’s because it is mine.
Mommy: I will not give it to anybody until we all agree on what to do. Can I please have the toy?
Child 1: No.
Child 2: I want the toy now!
Mommy: Stop! Please give me the toy. Then we can talk about it. I will count to three. If I don’t have the toy by then I will have to do something. One, two, three. Can I have the toy now?
Child 1: No.
Mommy: If you won’t give me the toy then there will be no TV for you for three days. Do you want to give me the toy now?
Child 1: Okay.
Mommy: Thank you.
Child 2: I want the toy!
Mommy: Stop! Let’s talk about this. You say this toy belongs to you?
Child 1: Yes.
Mommy: And you say this toy belongs to you?
Child 2: Yes.
Mommy: If the toy belongs to both of you then you will have to share.
Child 1: That’s not fair. That is my toy.
Mommy: Then you can share your toy.
Child 2: I don’t like it. That is my toy.
Mommy: Then you can share your toy.
Child 1: No!
Child 2: No!
Mommy: You can either share it with each other or it will become Mommy’s toy.
Child 1: Okay.
Child 2: Okay.
Mommy: Good. Now, you will each get to play with the toy for 10 minutes. You had the toy first so you can play first. In 10 minutes you will give the toy to him. Okay?
Child 1: Okay.
Mommy: And then you can play with the toy for 10 minutes. Then you will give it back to her. Okay?
Child 2: Okay.
Mommy: If you don’t give the toy back after 10 minutes then it will become Mommy’s toy. Okay?
Child 1: Okay.
Child 2: Okay.
Mommy: Very good. Maybe later you can play together. Then you can play with the toy for however long you like. That’s better, I think.
Child 1: Yes!
Child 2: Yes!
Mommy: Oh! You want to play together. That’s nice. You can play with the toy for however long you like but I don’t want to hear any fighting. If I hear fighting then the toy will become Mommy’s toy. You should perhaps take turns. First you hold the toy, then you hold the toy. Have fun!
Children: Okay!
As always, I will record an MP3 file for this dialogue. If you want it, please send me your email address.
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